Thomas Jostin Keithley's Homebirth Story

Jostin's Homebirth
by Margaret Keithley

During the fireworks on July 4, I started having crampy contractions which continued off and on and got more intense over the next two weeks. A couple of times we thought that it might be the beginnings of labor, but both times the contractions fizzled out after a couple of hours. My mom decided to come up on the 5th and stay with us so she could be here for the birth.

My due date of July 10th came and went and still we waited. At my appointment on Tuesday, the 15th, the midwife felt an elbow near the baby's head and said that she thought that his/her arm was up by his/her head and that the baby's head wasn't under my pubic bone which could be keeping me from progressing. She suggested I spend time on hands and knees and in the downward dog yoga position to give the baby a chance to float up and resettle, hopefully with his/her arm down and his/her head under my pubic bone. Thursday, the 17th, I was 41 weeks pregnant and my dear friend Kelly bought me a massage with Gilbert, who is wonderful. I told him that I was very ready for the baby to join our family. I also asked him to tell me if he thought the baby was a boy or girl since we weren't finding out the gender until the baby was born. He gave me a terrific massage and worked all the pressure points that can send women into labor. I was so relaxed and spend the entire massage thinking about the baby. I got the strong sense that it was a boy. After the massage, Gilbert also said that he thought it was a boy.

Friday night the 18th, Matt and I played with Walker and had a great time as a family. Matt's parents picked Walker up Saturday morning for a day of fun, since his birthday was Sunday. Walker left at 9:30am and Mom, Matt, and I all fell asleep. I got up at noon and sat down at the computer to check in with my online friends. At about 12:20 I felt the first contraction. I stayed on the computer through a couple more and then decided to take care of all the things I'd been putting off, like folding and putting up laundry. I went upstairs and worked on laundry for about an hour while I timed contractions, then came downstairs and ate lunch. I decided that I would wake Matt up and then we could run a few errands since I knew it would be a while. At 2pm I woke Matt and told him that he might want to take a shower because I was in labor. He asked if I was sure and I said that I really thought so - at this point, contractions had been coming 5 minutes apart for over an hour and they lasted over a minute each time. He got up quickly and started cleaning the downstairs, which was already clean. While he was cleaning, I woke my mom and asked her if she was ready to have a new grandbaby today. At first she said, "I sure hope so!" A second later she realized what I was saying and got really excited. Once Matt had re-dusted and re-vaccumed everything, he came upstairs and finally got his shower.

By 3pm, I'd decided that it was time to call the midwives and give them some notice, even though I wasn't really sure that these contractions wouldn't fizzle out. Jenny said she would call Terri and get her stuff together, then call me in about 30 minutes. Around this time I decided that I didn't want to leave the house, so Mom left to run my errands. Matt and I hung out in our room, talking and laughing, while she was gone. It was great to spend time alone together while we prepared for the new baby. Jenny called back at 3:30 and asked if I thought I had time for her and Terri to meet up and carpool, since they live in Virginia Beach. I told them that I was sure it would be a while and with gas prices so high, by all means they should carpool. I also called Kelly to let her know that we'd be needing her soon - she was in charge of photographing and filming the birth.

Things continued on and though the contractions didn't feel at all painful or really even intense, I concentrated on relaxing and breathing through each one while I visualized my body opening for my baby. I stayed upright and mostly paced slowly through each one. In between I talked to Mom (who had returned from the errands) and Matt and we just hung out. At 5pm, the midwives arrived and came upstairs to our room. I was very social between contractions but during them I discovered that I needed Matt nearby and that I could relax much more if he was touching me. Eventually we went downstairs and stood in the kitchen. I ate a bowl of fruit salad and hugged Matt through each contraction. I was carrying on conversations with everyone, but when a surge would start, I'd stop talking, breathe through it, then pick up the conversation right where we left off. Just before 6pm, we were talking about when we thought the baby would be here - whether it would be the 19th or the 20th, since the 20th is Walker's birthday. My mom and Jenny guessed the 20th and Terri said she thought it would be around 9pm. I jokingly said that I was hoping the baby would be here around 7pm.

Minutes later, Kelly arrived and she was so excited that she was grinning from ear to ear and almost jumping out of her skin. She got settled in with us while the midwives made phone calls to let folks know that they would be at a birth and not to call them that night or early the next morning since they would be up late. Jenny was in the office and Terri was outside when, at 6:30, I had a contraction and felt a pop, then a gush of water - my water broke! Matt yelled three times for Jenny before she heard him and she came running into the kitchen and checked the water - all clear. My water breaking was the strangest feeling and it made me panic and lose focus during that contraction. Feeling afraid of what was happening made everything feel completely different, so before the next contraction I regained my focus and shed the fear. The midwives suggested that I spend a few contractions on my feet after my water broke because the pressure of the baby's head against my cervix would help me to progress faster. I expected the contractions to feel different, but they didn't and I easily hugged Matt through a few more. At this point, however, I needed him to be completely still so I could concentrate. During one contraction, he was trying to reach around me to press a button on the computer so it would time that contraction and I said, "Who the hell cares about that anymore - my water broke! I'm obviously in labor!" [Sorry, honey].

After that, I asked the midwives if I could get in the tub, but then decided that I couldn't be seperated from Matt and since the tub wasn't big enough for both of us, perhaps the shower would be a better option. Jenny said to definitely try the shower and after that I could get in the tub. We got in the shower and I held on to Matt the entire time, rather than only during contractions as I had before. In the shower they came much closer together and were much more intense, but I easily handled them and wouldn't even say they were painful, just intense. I started feeling downward pressure in the shower, so decided to get out.

My contractions slowed down when we got out and I called down to Jenny and Terri that I was feeling pressure. They came up and I started filling the tub. They listened to the baby (as they had been doing periodically since they arrived) and baby's heart tones were great. I got in the tub and lost all sense of time. I was sitting sidways in the tub with my legs underneath me, belly in the water, and arms hanging over the side, holding on to Matt. It was a great position for the contractions, but horrible for my circulation and I quickly lost feeling in my legs and hands. I finally decided I had to move, but I'd lost all decision-making power and moved around in the tub like an animal, trying to get comfortable, and asked Jenny and Terri how I should position myself. I ended up lying on my side and the midwives tell me that my contractions took a break at this point (again - I'd lost all track of time). During the peak of the next contraction, my body bore down and pushed. It was the strangest feeling, and it scared me a little. I asked Terri and Jenny, "What if I'm not fully dilated and my body's doing this??" They reassured me that I was definitely very close if not fully dilated and that my body was doing exactly what it should be doing. I begged Jenny to stay with me through every contraction, so she was running back and forth between our bed, where she was setting up for the birth, and the bathroom to hold my hand. At one point she offered me some Rescue Remedy (a homeopathic calming liquid - "yoga in a bottle" for women). She put a couple drops under my tongue, then gave some to Matt, Terri, and Kelly (which we all laughed about later). I had a few pushing contractions like this in the tub and was still worried, so they asked if I'd like to get out and be checked.

I got out of the tub and my contractions again gave me a break until after I got in the bed and they checked me (for the first time in my pregnancy!). There was a tiny lip of cervix that was soft and moved right out of the way. Mom, who had been cooking dinner downstairs, rejoined us in the bedroom at this point. I had several contractions where my body would bear down at the peak, and some where my body bore down throughout the contraction. During one, my body didn't push at all. I say "my body" because I was not doing anything - it was much different from Walker's birth where I physically pushed. This time my body did it all and I just hung on for the ride. After several contractions like this, I was starting to lose my focus, so Terri told me to reach down and feel my baby. His head was already about 2 inches out. I was amazed and tried to refocus - the baby was almost here. Jenny had Matt move from beside me down to catch the baby. Jenny and Terri applied hot compresses and olive oil to my perineum as the baby slowly moved down. I felt the burning sensation of the ring of fire through a couple contractions, and made horsey lips for a few seconds, then I had one amazing contraction where my body bore down for what seemed like forever. Jostin crowned, then his head was out, I felt him turn, and his entire body was born all in that contraction. Matt literally caught him and announced, "It's a boy!" to everyone. He placed him on my chest and Jostin promptly peed on me. He was born at 7:30pm - only two and a half hours after the midwives arrived.

We stayed like that, with the midwives and my mom trying to keep both of us warm, for about the next 25 minutes, during which time Jostin peed on me again. By then, the cord had stopped pulsing, so Terri clamped it and Matt cut it and took Jostin so he could get to know his new son. The midwives helped me to the birthing stool where I delivered the placenta at 8:00pm, then they got me back in bed and checked me out. I had one small first degree tear that healed within 2 days and a couple of "skid marks". The midwives and Mom left Matt and I to spend time with Jostin while they went downstairs to eat supper. Jostin nursed for the first time at 8:15 and didn't stop until 8:50.

Everyone came back upstairs at about 9 with food for us. While I ate, they did a newborn exam on Jostin, who was covered in vernix and didn't appear to be "past-due" whatsoever. We all guessed how much we thought he'd weigh. I guessed 7lbs. 4 oz., Terri guessed 7lbs. 6 oz. and everyone else guessed he would weigh less. They put him in the scale and he weighed 8lbs. 4 oz.! He was a big boy! They measured him at 20 inches long, listened to his heart, lungs, and bowels, and declared him healthy! He scored an 8 and a 9 on his apgars. He was still a little chilly, so we bundled him up really well and I held him. Jenny and Terri gave hugs all around and left as Matt's parents were pulling in with Walker.

Walker got home at about 10pm and Matt brought him upstairs to meet his little brother. He was SO excited and kept saying, "He's so cute!" Walker kissed Jostin on the head and rubbed his back and hugged him. We are now a family of four!

Looking back, I realize that childbirth is only painful if you expect it to be or if you are afraid. If you have full confidence in your body to do what it was made to do, then there should be no fear, and therefore, no pain. I also know that birth isn't something to be controlled or managed by anyone - doctors included. As long as mom and baby are okay, labor and birth should be allowed to happen in their own time. It's a shame that you can't get that with most doctors or in most hospitals, but thank God for the midwives who make it possible for those of us who insist on truly natural birth.